is it ok to feel angry ? and If so is ok to act on that anger .. in a Positive way ? is there a positive way to act on it ?

I say all this not because I am angry but I know I am going to be . I have spent most of my Adult life claiming I have forgiven someone for what they did to me , but I still Hate them with every ounce of myself . I still am angry for what happened , and how I was not protected the way I should have been . I am ready to work through this . I am tired of thinking about it everyday . Dreaming about it every night , and praying that it will never happen again. As ready as I am to work through things things .. I am also scared . scared that when I do I will start feeling those feelings again . Scared that I will just transfer my anger to someone eles .

But as much as that all scared me I am EVEN MORE scared that this will controll the rest of my life , that I will never overcome this , and it will alway be apart of who I am .
I am tired of hanging on to it . tired of living it .

so .

I have never felt so .. scared in my life as I was last week . Monday I was not feeling well Emotionally, physically or spritually .by Wednessday it was so bad I went to the doctor . from there I went straight to the hospital and was there 5 days . I never ever want to experience that ever again . The doctors said I had a Break down . My body just couldn't take anymore . so it quit . I am feeling better , still not great but better . Mostly I am tired . the docotrs told me I havea lot of " Stuff" I need to work through emotionally and spritually . But I think the hardest thing I have to do is not taking on so much , not expecting so much out of myself , and Learning how to say no when I have to much going .

I am determined to work so that I never feel that way ever again . EVER .

have a great Easter weekend , and remember what it is about .