this is a song I found by Evanescence it is called Tourniquet. right now it totally explains me .



I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more (so much more)
I lay dying, and I am pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?

My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation

Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Will you forgive me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?

My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation

(I want to die)

My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied?
Christ, tourniquet
My suicide